Unwanted Things

It always amazes me, how after all these years as a monk trying to become devoted to Krishna that I still manage to see the fault in others quicker than within myself. After all, a monks life is one of introspection and contemplation, always trying to strip ourselves of pride and prejudice (not the book). Yet still I find it easier to point the finger, ignoring the 3 pointing back.

Each of us has unwanted qualities or in Vedic terminology 'anartha's'. These anartha's are material habits that are buried deep within our hearts and psyche , that hinder and sometimes derail our spiritual progress.

We have a beautiful seed of Bhakti (love and devotion) planted within our soul, that with care and attention can blossom, yet along with this creeper of devotion so many weeds have been cultivated due to past misdeeds and materialistic tendencies. How hard it seems to uproot these weeds that threaten our progress towards real spiritual realization.   How difficult it seems to look within ourselves and see the bad, the rubbish, the clutter that we want to throw out. Yet this is what we must do to truly make progress on any path of devotion. Not that we beat our selves up ' ohh I'm such a bad person etc etc', no, we see the unwanted and we deal with it, understand it and get rid of it. Yes we may see some qualities within ourselves that we don't like but we should not be afraid to confront them, we cannot bury them deep in our hearts or run away from ourselves forever.

Sounds positive

So why is it so hard?? 

Well it is hard to confront lifetimes of conditioning, sometimes daunting. Still I know that I am making progress and I should continue on. Fortune favours the brave as they say. There are so many positive things to see while I look deep within for the unwanted, I gaze on in amazement at all of the good qualities that I have developed due to Krishna Consciousness, due to this process of Bhakti Yoga. I find as I deal with my Bad qualities, or anartha's, that my appreciation for others increases, I convey my feelings better than before and my sense of pride and false ego is diminishing, I'm actually able to have emotional relationships ( yes I'm a man and I know we're not meant to be able to have those). In short as we mature in our devotion we become better people, more rounded individuals, another great by product of the quest for enlightenment. 

So, searching for and disposing of our anartha's all of a sudden doesn't seem like such a bad thing and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to stop pointing that finger (Katie).