Swansea's First Holy Name Day

Experience of chanting was the first thing that got me interested in the process of Bhakti Yoga and now this form of meditation strengthens my resolve on the devotional path. There are lots of different ways to meditate,  I find chanting the easiest and most enjoyable. Of the 3 primary forms of chanting (manah nama, japa and kirtan) kirtan is by far the most enlivening and engrossing. Kirtan is a group form of mantra meditation involving singing the mantra's given by the group leader, along with musical instruments.

On Sunday ISKCON Swansea held it's  first every all day kirtan session.

Now, I was thinking of just writing on overview of the day and how nicely it was arranged by a fellow monk, Danda Krt Prabhu, but then I thought it would be much more interesting if I chronicled some of my internal experiences whilst chanting throughout the day. I've decided the clearest way of doing this is to go through each Kirtan to show the progression of consciousness and the nature of our/my impetuous mind.

1. OFF WE GO

The starts always easy no fidgeting just getting into the chanting its a nice melody and I quickly become absorbed, there's a little bit of joking with the other chanters but that just helps us get away from associating with our bodies and start to get into something deeper an internal experience, its over too soon, I was just getting into it.

2. OHHH THE MIND

The body is starting to become uncomfortable, we've been here for an hour now, onto the second kirtan(song). Sitting here I know the mind is going to start any minute now, "you should get up, stretch your legs." it suggests. I disagree and sit upright trying to focus on hearing the chanting, focus on Krishna. the mind has other idea's so much comes up to try and distract me...... holidays, what might happen in the future, what could have happened in the past, what did happen in the past??? football games, Rugby anything and everything. I resist pushing the material away, this time is for the spiritual not the mundane. Then the mind pulls out it's big guns, its serious weapons, ex girlfriends, and the ones that got away. The mind is a predictable thing these days and I'm prepared for this, I look at the devotee's, see their absorption and become buoyed by their association. I push through, the mind retreats (for now) and the kirtan becomes sweet again. Gopinatha ramps up the pace at the right time and we all start to experience a higher pleasure, past the material into an internal universe of transcendental pleasure waiting to be enjoyed.....ooohhh the minds trick, I'm not ultimately here to enjoy the chanting but become absorbed in a prayer to Krishna (the supreme personality of Godhead), that I can come to love Him again, be with him again, serve Him.

I quickly remind my self enjoying the chanting is a natural by product, NOT the motive or the goal. I re-focus ready for the next kirtan unfortunately I'm leading next.

3. THE WHITES OF MY EYES.

Now leading a kirtan for a group and chanting as part of the group are very different.

Sometimes when I lead I can become more absorbed and chant with a deeper desire to be free of my material conditioning and increase in my devotion to become krishna's devotee. 

Recently though something has been getting in the way.

I would normally chant with my eyes closed, praying that Krishna's names can flow through me and into the ears of the other chanters, to inspire them to become more devout spiritual practitioners, to help them become more absorbed and ultimately that my chanting is pleasing to the devotee's and Krishna. Only opening them to look at the deity or devotee's for encouragement. About a month ago a friend informed that while I thought my eyes were closed they weren't, in fact they just went white as they rolled up and it looked quite freaky.

So now I go through the whole kirtan with my eyes open, scared of, well, scaring someone.

This makes it a lot harder to envelop myself in the right mood and this particular time I found my self failing, focusing on what people thought of my singing rather than my own personal prayers and developing the humility needed to lead a 'fired up' session. By the end of my stint I was glad it was over, I had done my duty now I could try and get back into the right frame of mind for the final 2 kirtans.

4. BACK ON TRACK

Ok back into it, It's funny how the mind can seem like an 8 track recorder, so many things going on at the same time. Instead of fighting this I now just flick a switch onto silent.... hearing only the holy names Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. I look at the other devotees, relish their attraction to chanting and it takes me deeper into my own prayers. We've been going for nearly 4 hours now and the mind is finally withdrawing its influence.

5. THE GRAND FINALE.

Everyone is into it now, all the chanters are smiling and clapping as the day comes to its climax.

The mind's suggestions are now becoming more aggressive, pride and envy rear their ugly heads but thankfully the devout chanters here carry me through with the ecstasy (no, not that type) that they are experiencing. As the kirtan reaches its zenith I try and omit everything from my mind and just hear the mantra, the prayers stop too, just hear the names of krishna and try and let them wash over me, cleanse my soul and leave me enlivened and enriched with renewed vigour to share the blissful nature of Krishna Consciousness with others. 

There's only so many words to describe what chantings like, ultimately each person has to experience it for themselves to truly relate to what I have tried describing a little of. I will undoubtedly talk a lot about the different ways and experiences of chanting in future posts, after all it is the foundation that my devotion to Krishna is based on.