Unwanted Things

It always amazes me, how after all these years as a monk trying to become devoted to Krishna that I still manage to see the fault in others quicker than within myself. After all, a monks life is one of introspection and contemplation, always trying to strip ourselves of pride and prejudice (not the book). Yet still I find it easier to point the finger, ignoring the 3 pointing back.

Each of us has unwanted qualities or in Vedic terminology 'anartha's'. These anartha's are material habits that are buried deep within our hearts and psyche , that hinder and sometimes derail our spiritual progress.

We have a beautiful seed of Bhakti (love and devotion) planted within our soul, that with care and attention can blossom, yet along with this creeper of devotion so many weeds have been cultivated due to past misdeeds and materialistic tendencies. How hard it seems to uproot these weeds that threaten our progress towards real spiritual realization.   How difficult it seems to look within ourselves and see the bad, the rubbish, the clutter that we want to throw out. Yet this is what we must do to truly make progress on any path of devotion. Not that we beat our selves up ' ohh I'm such a bad person etc etc', no, we see the unwanted and we deal with it, understand it and get rid of it. Yes we may see some qualities within ourselves that we don't like but we should not be afraid to confront them, we cannot bury them deep in our hearts or run away from ourselves forever.

Sounds positive

So why is it so hard?? 

Well it is hard to confront lifetimes of conditioning, sometimes daunting. Still I know that I am making progress and I should continue on. Fortune favours the brave as they say. There are so many positive things to see while I look deep within for the unwanted, I gaze on in amazement at all of the good qualities that I have developed due to Krishna Consciousness, due to this process of Bhakti Yoga. I find as I deal with my Bad qualities, or anartha's, that my appreciation for others increases, I convey my feelings better than before and my sense of pride and false ego is diminishing, I'm actually able to have emotional relationships ( yes I'm a man and I know we're not meant to be able to have those). In short as we mature in our devotion we become better people, more rounded individuals, another great by product of the quest for enlightenment. 

So, searching for and disposing of our anartha's all of a sudden doesn't seem like such a bad thing and maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to stop pointing that finger (Katie).

Global Dimming

Check this out. 

http://freedocumentaries.org/theatre.php?filmid=254&id=1190&wh=1000x720

It really highlights the result of greed and the unending desire to enjoy by exploiting nature.

Krishna highlighted this propensity for uncontrolled sense gratification  5000 years ago in the 16th Chapter of the Bhagavad Gita. (you'll have to read it).

It definitely seems that time is running out. We have to change now and start taking care of Mother Earth.

Swansea's First Holy Name Day

Experience of chanting was the first thing that got me interested in the process of Bhakti Yoga and now this form of meditation strengthens my resolve on the devotional path. There are lots of different ways to meditate,  I find chanting the easiest and most enjoyable. Of the 3 primary forms of chanting (manah nama, japa and kirtan) kirtan is by far the most enlivening and engrossing. Kirtan is a group form of mantra meditation involving singing the mantra's given by the group leader, along with musical instruments.

On Sunday ISKCON Swansea held it's  first every all day kirtan session.

Now, I was thinking of just writing on overview of the day and how nicely it was arranged by a fellow monk, Danda Krt Prabhu, but then I thought it would be much more interesting if I chronicled some of my internal experiences whilst chanting throughout the day. I've decided the clearest way of doing this is to go through each Kirtan to show the progression of consciousness and the nature of our/my impetuous mind.

1. OFF WE GO

The starts always easy no fidgeting just getting into the chanting its a nice melody and I quickly become absorbed, there's a little bit of joking with the other chanters but that just helps us get away from associating with our bodies and start to get into something deeper an internal experience, its over too soon, I was just getting into it.

2. OHHH THE MIND

The body is starting to become uncomfortable, we've been here for an hour now, onto the second kirtan(song). Sitting here I know the mind is going to start any minute now, "you should get up, stretch your legs." it suggests. I disagree and sit upright trying to focus on hearing the chanting, focus on Krishna. the mind has other idea's so much comes up to try and distract me...... holidays, what might happen in the future, what could have happened in the past, what did happen in the past??? football games, Rugby anything and everything. I resist pushing the material away, this time is for the spiritual not the mundane. Then the mind pulls out it's big guns, its serious weapons, ex girlfriends, and the ones that got away. The mind is a predictable thing these days and I'm prepared for this, I look at the devotee's, see their absorption and become buoyed by their association. I push through, the mind retreats (for now) and the kirtan becomes sweet again. Gopinatha ramps up the pace at the right time and we all start to experience a higher pleasure, past the material into an internal universe of transcendental pleasure waiting to be enjoyed.....ooohhh the minds trick, I'm not ultimately here to enjoy the chanting but become absorbed in a prayer to Krishna (the supreme personality of Godhead), that I can come to love Him again, be with him again, serve Him.

I quickly remind my self enjoying the chanting is a natural by product, NOT the motive or the goal. I re-focus ready for the next kirtan unfortunately I'm leading next.

3. THE WHITES OF MY EYES.

Now leading a kirtan for a group and chanting as part of the group are very different.

Sometimes when I lead I can become more absorbed and chant with a deeper desire to be free of my material conditioning and increase in my devotion to become krishna's devotee. 

Recently though something has been getting in the way.

I would normally chant with my eyes closed, praying that Krishna's names can flow through me and into the ears of the other chanters, to inspire them to become more devout spiritual practitioners, to help them become more absorbed and ultimately that my chanting is pleasing to the devotee's and Krishna. Only opening them to look at the deity or devotee's for encouragement. About a month ago a friend informed that while I thought my eyes were closed they weren't, in fact they just went white as they rolled up and it looked quite freaky.

So now I go through the whole kirtan with my eyes open, scared of, well, scaring someone.

This makes it a lot harder to envelop myself in the right mood and this particular time I found my self failing, focusing on what people thought of my singing rather than my own personal prayers and developing the humility needed to lead a 'fired up' session. By the end of my stint I was glad it was over, I had done my duty now I could try and get back into the right frame of mind for the final 2 kirtans.

4. BACK ON TRACK

Ok back into it, It's funny how the mind can seem like an 8 track recorder, so many things going on at the same time. Instead of fighting this I now just flick a switch onto silent.... hearing only the holy names Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. I look at the other devotees, relish their attraction to chanting and it takes me deeper into my own prayers. We've been going for nearly 4 hours now and the mind is finally withdrawing its influence.

5. THE GRAND FINALE.

Everyone is into it now, all the chanters are smiling and clapping as the day comes to its climax.

The mind's suggestions are now becoming more aggressive, pride and envy rear their ugly heads but thankfully the devout chanters here carry me through with the ecstasy (no, not that type) that they are experiencing. As the kirtan reaches its zenith I try and omit everything from my mind and just hear the mantra, the prayers stop too, just hear the names of krishna and try and let them wash over me, cleanse my soul and leave me enlivened and enriched with renewed vigour to share the blissful nature of Krishna Consciousness with others. 

There's only so many words to describe what chantings like, ultimately each person has to experience it for themselves to truly relate to what I have tried describing a little of. I will undoubtedly talk a lot about the different ways and experiences of chanting in future posts, after all it is the foundation that my devotion to Krishna is based on.

sex education or mantra meditation

 A few articles in the news last week seemed to relate to the rising trend in irresponsible sex in today's youth.

In Wales over 2000 legal abortions where carried out in 2007 over half of these teenage girls had had a previous abortion!! According to the BBC this is now the highest in Europe.

Last weeks Time magazine talks about the global increase in pregnancies in girls aged 15 - 19 and what to do about it.

There was more related news, all rounded off by a 7 year old girl who has been hired as an agony aunt by a radio station in the south of England,  giving out sage advice such as 'girl, if you want a man you have to shake your booty'.

All of the respective journalists give their views on how to solve the problems, all being very liberal and almost encouraging  future "headaches"........have more abortion clinics and advertise them to remove their stigma........ have sex education at an earlier age so kids have an open an progressive view of sex...........ahhh isn't she cute, she doesn't know what she's saying (or doing).

Now at first I was condemning all of this and saying how society was degrading, I'm disgusted etc etc, but what would my answer to the problems be??? It's all very well for me to judge others actions and opinions from my supposed higher moral ground but do I have an answer?

As a monk would I immediately try and convince the general youth of today about the freedom afforded by celibacy, the way it liberates one from the pressures of modern society? I don't think I would have much luck. No, after much thought I came to a simple solution, some may say naive.

My Answer, chant Hare Krishna.

Too simple?

Well it worked for me and believe me before I became a monk 12 years ago calling me a tart would've been an understatement, I'll leave it at that.

Seriously though, just off the top of my head I can see how this could work.

In a school with regular meditation programs that give the kids a practical taste of how fulfilling an internal relationship with Krishna (the all attractive personality of godhead) is, that introduced them to a higher pleasure, that requires a lot less hassle than sex. Revolutionary sex education with mantra meditation.

Later on in life when these kids were looking for happiness where would they turn? sure maybe to the material but also to the higher, more satisfying activity of chanting krishna's names. Of course it requires much more discussion and thought than I can afford in a blog ( I mean, are you still reading this far down let alone if I carried on for another 2000 words :) ) but I have some experience of the process of chanting Hare Krishna working, attracting me away from the temporary delights of material pleasure and giving me a happiness stronger than sex and a lot longer lasting.

so there is my very short abbreviated answer to the above problems. If we could implement it then maybe the abortion and teenage pregnancy rates would decrease along with the mental and physical suffering that goes along with it.

We'll never know if we don't try.

 

What am I doing????

I never was any good at English. Those who know me will testify to my poor spelling (thank God for spellcheck) and 'inventive' grammar, so when a friend I was having a conversation with suggested that I write a blog I quickly dismissed it. Then someone else suggested it, divine inspiration? or happy coincidence, I don't know. After putting some ideas for the content to a few friends,with mixed responses, inspiration finally came from a book that I have just finished reading, "The Journey Home" by Radhanatha Swami.

 So here it is, my blog for what its worth, It's not going to be a chapter and verse presentation of krishna Consciousness or the pure realizations of an elevated soul (jiva). More a conditioned souls experiences of  what its like to try and apply Krishna Consciousness to our contemporary life, sharing reflections on current affairs, conversations, meditations and adventures that I have along the path back home. Back to krishna.

Hope you'll join me