In Praise of Others

You really are a wonderful person. I have never met some one so kindhearted good natured and likable as you. whenever I need to be cheered up there you are making me laugh and whenever I need support I know you are there, my trusted and loyal friend. In fact sometimes all I need is a smile from you and that's enough to get me through the day.

Sounds nice, wouldn't we be happy to hear these things , or something similar, said about us.

Out selling books today I heard so much negativity towards people it disturbed me. No one seemed happy unless they were moaning about someone else. ( I know I do this a lot.) But at the same time seeking to be praised themselves.

In this modern day world where insecurity is rife and the almost constant validation is needed to keep us going we all like to to hear ourselves praised.

Yet according to modern research into depression and anxiety disorders this constant searching for glorification is exactly what is leading to insecurity and the breakdown of all types of relationships.

In his book "The feeling good handbook" Dr David D Burns suggests a radical answer to our problems. He suggests that if we spend more time thinking about and praising our friends and families good qualities then as a natural consequence we will become liked more and feel more peaceful in the mind and have better quality ,deeper relationships.

The Veda's have been saying this for over 5000 years. Part of the krishna conscious teachings is that we should never look for praise but always be ready to praise others even if all the praise we can muster is " at least he wears clean clothes".

This actually works. if we make an effort not to see the faults in others ( we all have em) but to let people know when and how we appreciate them, then actually we do feel happier. If we feel happier then we will see less and less others bad and more and more peoples good qualities and naturally become content and peaceful in our selves and our social dealings.

It ain't rocket science :)